why.

i think i'm going crazy soon
i keep thinking about boys. kissing and how i'd feel to be loved by one.
but i can't think about me actually doing it;
its just werid.

and i think i always end up hurting people , gavin ted ... just because i found out that they like me and i dont ; i tend to avoid them, ignore and not talk to them.
i think i'm being too mean
and i keep making people feel sad.
i shouldnt do this
but its the only way to make them give up wihthout hurting me - but hurting them instead. i'm very selfish arent i ?

i dont think i will make it into st andrews, i'm such a failure, my results are horrible and i am not studying.
dreams cannot be achieved if i dont do anything about it at all.
i should really stop fantasing about the impossibe and get back to reality and focus on the present and start doing what i should do.

they say the end of the worlsd is coming soon, and jesus is coming back.
i think i'll be one of the people that gets sent to hell cause i have never heard from God or felt his love for me before, (or have i? but as usual didnt notice)
maybe i'll just fall dead and die one day and when God sees me and asks me: have you ever believed and trusted me? i wouldnt really know what to say would i.
and he definately wouldn;'t call me his good and faithful servant; why would he?

but then again, its true. i have been blessed even if i dont really realise it. twice i've lost my earpiece and the first time it got crushed and daddy - the one that i'm so afraid of, the one who i never knew loved me so much- knew about it and actually got me a new one. the second time i dropped it and aunty susan picked it up and gave it back to me. i didnt even know i lost it.
yes, i am blessed.

thank God.

i don't know what you're thinking,
i can't tell your feelings,
i can't read your mind.

the way you put your head on mine,
the intimacy i felt when you caressed my hair,
was it just so you? that you treat everone, thats the way you treat me.

i had enough.
i'm going to run away.

i fell in,
and now i'm stuck

i'm trying to get out desperately, but all my efforts are in waste.
i'm crying as i see whats going on above me,
you with her,
i shout your name desperately for you to save me,
but you only have eyes for her.

you finally look in,
but then you look away, as if i were invisible.
i scream, i shout, i cry.
but you never seem to hear a thing.
i just want you to save me,
but i'm nothing in your eyes, aren't i?

will anyone ever look in and take me out?


I HATE YOU FOR PLAYING WITH MY FEELINGS,
I'M NOT AS STRONG AS YOU THINK I AM

to think i actually fell in love with you,
and i'm stuck now.

why?

maybe like you said, its my fault.

i'm sorry.

i guess its over.

IF WE WERE A MOVIE

Uh oh, there you go again talkin' cinematic> Yeah you, you're charming got everybody star struck
I know, how you always seem to go
For the obvious
Instead of me
But get a ticket and you'll see

CHORUS
If we were a movie
You'd be the right guy
And I'd be the best friend
That you'd fall in love with in the end
We'd be laughing
Watching the sunset
Fade to black
Show the names
Play the happy song

Yeah. yeah when you call me I can hear it in your voice
Oh sure, want to see me and tell me all about her
La, la I'll be acting through my tears
Guess you'll never know that I should win
An Oscar for this scene I'm in

CHORUS

Wish I could tell you there's a twist
Some kind of hero in disguise
And we're together it's for real, now playing
Wish I could tell you there's a kiss
Like something more in my mind, I see it
Could be amazing

CHORUS

_______________________________________________

IF I EVER HAVE A GUY FOR A BESTFRIEND,
(like that'll ever happen)
will i fall in love with him too?

♥♥♥

and the lion falls in love the lamb

I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU

i really don't know who's this YOU,
but i need someone to LOVE and to love me,
cause i'm feeling so insecure now.

I GOT OVER YOU, NOW I'M EMPTY.

and i used to like lester,
and i still do.
but as a friend now.


i need someone to hold me,
to tell me I LOVE YOU
to make all my insecurities go away
i need someone to wipe all my tears away
and to make me whole again.
will that someone ever be you?

looks like i'm not going crazy after all.

i'm getting too obsessed with the jonas brothers.
I HAVE TO STOP.
this is going too far now.

its like i'm thinking of them every day and night,
and that is driving me crazy.

STOPSTOPSTOP PLEASE.
DO IT FOR ME; JUST STOP THINKING OF THEM.
i'll never be a dream come true
so WAKE UP AND GET ON WITH IT.

they're just pop icons,
i can't idolise them.
this has to stop now.

i shall stop fantasising over them,
its going too far.
no more
no more
no more.

its time to stop
its time to stop
its time to stop
its time to stop

and wake up too please.

what you hope for will never come true.

they will never know you

they will never see you.

they will never talk to you.

so give up,
let go
and get back to life.

its getting too far now.

i don't want to be like IDOLISING them
and be like those screaming fans in those videos.
its stupid.

but do i really want to,
i really have to ask myself that.

wake up, guve up, let go.
NOW.

PLEASE.
I'M BEGGING YOU.

I LOVE CAMP ROCK :D
demi lovato and joe jonas rocks.
JOE JONAS IS THE BOMB ♥